The Woman Who Doesn't "Do" Relationships
To the woman who does not do relationships. You tell everyone around you that relationships are not for you. That you are not ready to be fully committed to someone. A part of you actually believes that and the other part, well the other part knows you are lying. In reality you do not feel like you are enough sometimes.
So, instead of telling the truth you make it seem like you have more important things to do besides be in a relationship, which is a defense mechanism to protect how you really feel. You may think "How could someone like me enough to actually want to be with me, there is absolutely nothing special about me." You are insecure and no matter how much you fight it, it will always show up when you meet a guy and destroy everything between you two before things even begin.
You are afraid that you might make a mistake. Afraid that you will become too needy, too dependent, too vulnerable. You do not want to open yourself up to someone because you are not used to having anyone. You constantly have these worries in your mind about how the relationship may go and how long it will last. You do not want to hurt anyone and you do not want anyone to hurt you. I will admit relationships are scary, attachment is scary. You have to learn how to put your pride to the side, learn to work through problems, consider the other persons feelings and you may just not be ready for that.
You might have learned to accept yourself and your flaws, but you are afraid that they may not accept your flaws. You know how you once hated your flaws and it took you a long time to learn how to love and embrace them. The last thing you want is to be reminded of your flaws and go back to hating yourself. You do not want to let your guard down and allow them to see the real you.
If you are anything like me, you may think you were not meant to be in a relationship. You are not meant to have anyone because you know that you have too much baggage. Not only baggage within yourself, but baggage from your family. It takes a special kind of man to want to deal with you and your family issues, and you are aware of this.
I am here to tell you even if no one else has told you, you are worthy of a relationship. You do deserve a man that will love you unconditionally. A man who will remind you every day why he picked you. Just keep believing and praying that the RIGHT man walks into your life and relieves you of those worries and concerns. What you need is someone who knows your flaws, knows your baggage, knows your strengths and weaknesses, knows your needs and wants. Then figures out where he fits in at and becomes everything you need and never had.